Family Reunion
by Clone-Eden
Summary: Legato gets a mysterios letter in the mail from his supposidely dead mother saying that he must host this year's family reunion. Why is Legato sweating bullets about a pre-paid party? And why is Midvalley wearing a dress! K for DEATH!
1. It All Comes Down To One Letter

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun but Legato's family is up for adoption.

C-E: My friend and I got together and when that happens, bad things come forth. Coupled with the fact that our band director was babbling on about something that I forgot and our sheet music was staring back at us, we delved into the Italian phrases and came to an indefinite conclusion. So, I give you a once in a lifetime experience:

Legato's Family Reunion

**Chapter One: **

**It All Comes Down To One Letter…**

((((Start))))

((Fallen SEEDs Ship))

The sweet summer sun sat on its haunches, yawning with its late rise. The slender fingers of light reached up the sky and touched the glistening metal of the ship sending an orange sheen down it spine as the warmth washed away last night's frost. A blissful silence rang it's way through cold halls as all it's occupants twirled themselves in the warmth of their blankets, like baby's fresh from the womb.

Legato stood in the kitchen, drinking his morning cup of java and eating his morning bucket of cream puffs. Although the rest of the ship (even Master Knives) still lay in their beds getting ready for another eventful day of wrecking havoc of the human populace, Legato awoke early in the morning in order to eat a wholesome breakfast and think of ways to torture his lesser (if they should ever anger him or his Master). A knock echoed through the ship and nearly made Legato spill his coffee as he growled and walked to the front door to issue ultimate pain and suffering on whoever dared to interrupt his "me" time.

Legato swung the door open and glared at the innocent mailman and his impatient Thomas behind him. The young man (about mid twenties) handed Legato a letter as he held a brown box tied with rough twine beneath his other arm. The young man, wearing the old postman uniforms from earth, smiled and handed Legato the box.

"Are you Mr. Bluesummers?"

Legato glared at him, balancing his coffee on top of the box. "_Yes_." he finally growled.

"Please sign for this," the man said, shoving a clipboard with, at least, fifty documents waiting to be signed. Legato growled, as he smelled the cooling remnants of his coffee teetering beneath his nose.

"**You sign it**," he glared and managed to slam the door on the young man, who obediently signed Legato's name on every paper as he rode off past the horizon.

Legato walked back to the kitchen and set the box on the table so he could sip the last of his coffee before the rest of the Gung-ho Guns came in for breakfast. He grabbed the letter and walked to the "living room" or, as the rest of the Gung-ho Guns put it, that one place where Master Knives doesn't chew you out. The blue-haired man with piercing golden eyes plopped down on his favorite cushy chair and looked at the envelope's address.

**Vivace & John Bluesummers**

**1432 Broadway Avenue**

**July City**

**79054 - 6728**

Legato's eyes furrowed as he stared at the red wax seal with a writhing snake etched in it's middle on the envelope's opening. "No way," he muttered as Vash's hand broke the seal, "They should've died in the incident…"

Legato began reading to himself unaware that he had broken out in a cold sweat as his eyes floated across the calligraphy letters.

"_Dear Son,_

_You're father and I are overwhelmed that we finally found you. It is unfortunate that our home was destroyed by that horrible man Vash the Stampede. We we're so worried when you ran away from us after July was destroyed but I had complete faith in your abilities and knew I would find you again, someday._

_I understand you work for a man named Knives. Your father and I would love to meet him, which brings me to the meaning of this letter. The Bluesummers family has grown apart for lack of family reunions. My dearest son, I implore you to host this year's reunion. I have already sent you the addresses of every family member and a budget to set up the party. I expect nothing but the best from you and so does your father. _

_With Caring Love and Absolute Concern,_

_Mother and Father Bluesummers"_

Legato stared at the letter, not believing it was real. He shook it. He yanked on its edges and stared at the careful lettering until he thought he would go blind. But, no matter what he did, the letter would not disappear and his mind came to its last unnerving conclusion….

His parents have found him and the family was coming to visit.

By this time, the entire Gung-ho gang filled around Legato as he sat on his couch and shivered with unfocused eyes. Never before had any of them seen such a sight. Legato muttering to himself was a regular; but, shivering like a sick man who has just seen death? That was new.

Dominique managed to pry the culprit letter from Legato's clammy hand. She read it out loud and the Gung-ho gang stared at each other, followed by a collective stare at Legato. A silence fell into the room, amplified by the thought that crossed everybody's mind. A thought that the pajama-ed Zazie spoke aloud, "Legato has a family?"

"I thought he would've killed them off or something like that," Midvalley continued, wearing a pair of black sweat pants.

"If he didn't kill them, they must be as powerful as he is," Dominique rationalized, already in her daily clothing.

"Maybe we should tell Master Knives about this," the Gauntlet offered.

Once again the room fell silent as Legato stood up and snatched the letter from Dominique's hand. "No! This is my problem and **I** will speak to Master about it _myself_. The only thing I'm worried about is Mother…"

Everyone stared at Legato completely missing the hint. Dominique sighed, "What about your mother, Legato?"

His golden eyes twitched and his hand crumpled the letter. "_Every year I went to a family reunion Mother tries to get me a **wife**. _This year will be no different."

Dominique gently guided Legato down to his couch as the other Gung-ho's gathered around in a circle. She sat down beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Alright, Legato. Let's calm down for your sake and the sake of everyone else. We're going to talk through this and see if we can't find a solution."

Legato nodded and relaxed as the group lost its tension. Midvalley spoke first, pulling out a cigarette from his back pocket and lighting it. "Why doesn't Dominique pose as your wife? I mean, it's not like your parents are going to know the difference."

Legato shook his head, "No, that won't work. Mother has the ability to control anything associated with music. That's how come she named me Legato. If my wife doesn't have any musical talent then mother will hone in on me and force out the truth."

The Gauntlet sniffed and everyone turned to him, "You know, I never knew my mother. She was killed by a rabid Thomas and never sang to me at night or made me hot milk when I couldn't sleep-"

Zazie growled and crossed his arms. "Ha! You never _knew_ your mother? I don't even know if I _have_ one! For all I know, I could be a clone of some weird psychopath!"

Dominique cleared her throat and patted Legato on the back as his eyes began to twitch again. "This isn't about who doesn't have a mother and who does, this is about Legato and his family crisis."

Midvalley chuckled and blew a puff of smoke before he spoke. "Hey Legato, you said your mother can control music, right? Think she can make me play my Silvia any better than I already do?"

Legato glared at Midvalley then smiled. His head fell and he hunched his shoulders as his back shook with unnerving laughter. The Gung-ho Guns slowly left their spots to retreat to a safe distance as Legato looked up and ambled towards the stiff Midvalley with a confused glare on his face. Legato draped an arm over the saxophonist's shoulder and smiled.

"You know, Midvalley," he drawled. The rest of the Gung-ho gang flinched at the voice they knew too well. "Mother would love to hear you play on your precious 'Silvia' and… well, I need a wife-"

Midvalley threw off Legato's arm, fell over the table he leaned against, jumped back to his feet and stormed towards the kitchen door yelling, "Screw you, Legato!! I am **_NOT_** posing as your wife! No matter **_WHAT_** you do to me!" he finished, thrusting his arms into the air.

Legato chuckled and drawled, "You _sure_ about that?"

Midvalley stopped halfway to his safety zone and spun around to face the living room. He painted a bright smile on his face and squealed, "Oh Legato! Look how _famished_ you are! Let me make you some cookies. Oh! But first, I'd better put on my apron!"

The rest of the Gung-ho Guns stared as Midvalley pranced down the hall toward his room. They turned their glance to Legato who grinned and held his chin in Vash's hand.

"You know, I think I might want a child, to keep the illusion…"

"Oh! Look at the _time_! I'm going to be late for my dentist appointment!" Dominique yells walking towards the front door soon followed by Gauntlet.

"Maybe I should come with you Dominique! You know how you are around those needles and whatnot…" he said as his voice dissipated behind the front door slamming shut.

Zazie stared at Legato who stared back. The boy smiled and ran out the door, yelling something about school… Legato stood in the living room with the letter still choked in his hand. Somewhere behind him, Midvalley was in his room complaining about nothing to wear. The blue-haired man sighed, coming to the inevitable conclusion:

He must ask Master Knives for use of the ship this weekend.

He squared his shoulders and walked to the forbidden room of the temperamental plant. The large metal door, splattered with red handprints sliding down its front, glinted in the luminescent bulbs above with a benevolent glow of foreboding. Legato breathed deeply twice before raising Vash's hand to strike the door. But before he could-

"Come in Legato." The calmness of the voice made Legato jump but he soon gained composure and opened the door. Master Knives lounged in a Victorian couch with only one arm, surrounded by draped walls of stark burgundy and bristling fire set in a polished marble house. Legato never failed to marvel at the explosive transition of style and sophistication of Knives' room.

The plant leaned against the velvet arm of the couch, a book in one hand and the other propped up against his chin. His satin navy eyes glanced at Legato as the door closed behind his minion. For a few seconds, Legato stood before those prying eyes as if he were a medieval statue being surveyed by the finest connoisseur for authenticity.

Master Knives sighed and placed his book on his lap, letting his other arm rest on the couches back as he twisted to watch Legato's monotone body. His gloved finger motioned for Legato to come closer like pulling a puppy by its collar. The plant smiled as he came into view of Vash's hand, still holding the letter.

His milky face fell back into superiority as he spoke straight into Legato's form. "Why have you disturbed me, Legato?"

Legato shifted, wanting to leave. "I have come to ask for advice…"

Master Knives knew his correct answer, "_Inept human_," he hissed, "You **dare** lie to me? Now, tell me why you're here."

Legato forced out the truth unsure of any consequences, "I have been contacted by my mother who wishes me to host this year's family reunion. I come to your abode to request the use of the ship this weekend."

Knives chuckled, shifting back to his reading position. "Sure, why not? I was thinking of visiting Vash anyway. I'll leave tonight and be gone for a week. Heh, it will be a nice surprise for Chapel."

Legato bowed and left the room. He walked down the hallway and into the kitchen, passing by Midvalley who was busy cooking cookies. The blue-haired man sat at the table as Midvalley placed a plate of steaming cookies in front of him, patting his head and telling him to eat up. As Midvalley left to cook more, Legato turned his attention to the box that came with the letter.

"…_and_ _a budget to set up the party…_" Legato pulled the box close to him and opened the brown box.

"What the-!" the man said as he stared inside at the collective amount of about 50 billion double dollars.

So, Legato spent the next two days preparing the SEEDs ship for his coming family. Master Knives was away and the Gung-ho Guns took voluntary vacations, which left Legato and Midvalley and a large sum of money to prepare for the coming hailstorm of relatives….

((((End))))

C-E: A nice chapter to start off on, ne? I hope this story will tickle your fancy and get you thinking of what the other members of the Bluesummers family will be like. Knowing me, it's bound to be a surprise!! Stay alert for this story!


	2. The Party Planning Blues

Disclaimer: I _wish_ I owned Trigun and for all those who are wondering… THERE IS **_NO_** TRIGUN MOVIE!

C-E: Chuckles. It's an inside joke with me and a couple'a friends. Welp, it's Legato family time once again! I'm not quite sure what to make of this chapter but I guarantee you it's gonna be pizza-rific!

**Legato's Family Reunion**

**Chapter Two:**

**The Party Planning Blues…**

((((Start))))

((The SEEDs Ship))

Legato sat at the table feverishly finishing the invitations for two hundred and thirty-seven (point five) relatives in the Bluesummers linage. Needless to say, after fifty-two hours of work his hand was cramping and the poor little psychopath was resting on his comfy couch as Midvalley hopped around setting up decorations, games, and refreshments.

Soon, Legato closed his eyes and drifted into sleep as Midvalley hummed above him, setting up the piñata. The placid man dreamt of bloody fields and twisted heads hanging by strips of flesh as they screamed in the burning fires of infernal pits…

Yes, it was a wonderful dream.

DING DONG… Legato opened his eyes and stared at the vibrant donkey hanging just to his left… DING DONG… "Honey, will you get that? I'm making a soufflé!" Midvalley called from the kitchen.

Legato sighed and peeled himself off his sanctuary and plodded down the hall to the "front door." Shhk. The door opened and he stared at a seventeen year old girl in a red uniform holding a ticket in one hand and pizza boxes in the other.

"Umm," the teenager ventured staring at Legato's exhausted form, "I have an order for twenty-two large five topping pizzas to a 'Mr. Bluesummers?'"

Legato growled.

"…Please sign here…"

Legato scribbled his name on the receipt, only half-aware of what he was doing. The teenager handed the boxes in her hand to Legato and walked back to her car for the other numbers.

Midvalley popped up behind Legato and snatched the box, opening it and tutting. "I told them to put two toppings on every pizza! Why is there five on this one? Oh! Honey, I decided pizza would be a nice warmer when your relatives arrive. I'll just go get the money from the box," he-er- she says leaning in to peck Legato on the cheek.

As you would guess, Legato woke up completely, screaming and wiping his cheek with Vash's hand, as Midvalley hopped back to the kitchen. The teenager arrived with another five boxes and stared at the man.

Legato glared at her with his near-bloody cheek. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STARING AT!" and he threw the door shut, stomping back to his room. The blue-haired man plopped down on his bed and buried his face in his pillow.

((Two Hours Later))

Legato did not realize he fell asleep until there was a knock on the door. Midvalley's voice drifted into the room with sickening care, "Honey, is something wrong? I'm coming in…"

Click creaak. Legato's buried face flinched in his pillow as Midvalley sat on his bed. He cringed as Midvalley sighed and put a manicured hand on his head, stroking his soft, blue hair lightly. "Honey, tell me what's wrong? Is it nerves? Are you afraid of your relatives not liking what you've become?"

Legato turned his head and glared at Midvalley. He sighed and sat up, pushing his "wife's" hand away. "Don't you have something to do?"

Midvalley glared at him and –SLAP! "How **dare** you speak to your wife like that! I should have you arrested for verbal abuse! Now," he continued standing up and pointing a finger at the door, "Go prepare for your family's arrival."

Legato stared at her, blinking. He stood up, raising Vash's hand to his throbbing cheek, and walked down the hall to the vibrantly decorated living and sat on his coveted couch.

Midvalley followed him and sat down next to him with an air of forgiveness as he tied his grown hair into a one-inch ponytail. Midvalley turned to Legato and laid his hands on Legato's, "Dear, I'm sorry if I mad you mad… It's just… I'm a little nervous of meeting your family. I mean we've only been together for two days."

Legato glanced at Midvalley. "What's your name?" he asked suddenly.

Midvalley stared at him and smiled, "What are you talking about, dear?"

"What's your name?" he asked with a curious smile that frightened Midvalley.

"Well, it's… um"

Legato smiled and started chuckling, "You don't know, do you?" he asked letting his face fall into his regular tedium, "Well, I can't have that when my parents arrive. So…" He stood up, pacing into front of his couch as Midvalley watched him. "For sake of time, you're name will be… Midvallina?"

Midvalley clapped her hands together and squealed, "Oh! It's sounds so _foreign_! I love it!"

Legato sighed as Midvallina hopped up to check on her raisin cookies. Suddenly, the door announced the arrival of some unknown body. Legato growled and walked to the door, opening it.

"I thought you didn't have anymore pizzaaas…" he stared at a tall black-haired woman with a clever smile spreading throughout her atmosphere. She wore a long, purple concert dress that hugged her slender figure and a black satin shawl. Her hair was pulled back in an elaborate braid, pinned with a diamond barrette.

Her pale teal eyes squinted as her smile deepened, "My son," she said, her voice like the satin that covered her. Legato took her shawl as she wrapped her arms around him. "Oh! Look how tall you've gotten. My lord, I remember when I had to look down at you. Now, I have to look up at you! And look at that hair!" she said as Legato led her to the living room, "It's so soft and beautiful! Oh! I've missed you," she finished burrowing her head into his shoulder…

Legato looked back towards the door as his father walked in. He was a tall man with plain brown hair and a scruffy mustache speckled with bits of white. His figure resembled that of a hard-working farmer, although he had never worked a day in his life. He wore a red and white flannel shirt with plain brown slacks.

As Vivace backed away to marvel at the decorations, John walked up to his son and shook his hand, pulling him to a one-armed hug. They pulled away from each other and Legato's face brightened. "Look how much you've grown! Ha ha! I never thought I'd _ever_ see you again, but here you are! And you're as healthy as the old man, God rest his soul."

Legato's eyes-widened, "Grandfather died?" His voice was filled with pure sorrow and amazement as his father nodded.

"You've missed a lot these past years, son. On a brighter note, you're mother and I have a new baby! And your siblings have been doing quite well as I understand it."

Vivace walked back to them and shooed John back to the car to fetch their belongings and the baby. She turned back to Legato and restored her calm atmosphere, "You must forgive my attitude, son. I was just _overwhelmed_ with seeing you again."

Legato smiled, "Just like that time you cheered Grandfather when he was chasing away those children."

Vivace's laughter flitted like a flute, "Yes! That was exciting seeing the old man running about like that! … Well, I'm glad to see you're doing fine. You and your siblings! You know, I have no idea what _any_ of you have been doing these past years!"

Legato smiled as his father walked back inside, setting a case down and holding a pink blanket bundle in his arms. John motioned Legato to look and Vivace prodded him over. Legato peered at the blanket as John pulled back the covers. Two satin navy eyes stared at Legato as plumb and frail hands reached towards his face. For three seconds, Legato swore he looked at the child of Master Knives.

"Ah! Who is this, son?" Vivace asked, tapping Legato's shoulder. He turned around to see Midvallina placing a tray of chocolate cookies on the coffee table.

Legato nearly choked, thinking of his response. "This-ahem- this is my wife. Midvallin, meet Vivace and John, mother and father respectively. Mother, father. This is Midvallina she reigns from -er- Little Russia…"

Vivace turned and stared into Legato's eyes, prodding him with her steely teal eyes. Midvallina sensed urgency in Legato's expression and interrupted the silent interrogation.

"You know Miss and Mister Bluesummers, I _am _a pronounced saxophonist…"

Vivace spun around and smiled at Midvallina as John sighed, still holding the baby, "_Really?_ You'll have to play me something later! Oh! And I **absolutely** _love _what you've done with your hair!" she nearly sang as the two women retreated to the kitchen.

John sat down on the couch as Legato followed, handing the baby to his son. Legato held the children and felt a chill roll down his spine as the shining blue eyes smiled and her little hands reached for his blue hair. She gurgled and giggled as Legato moved Vash's finger to let her chew on it.

John sighed as he watched the two. "Legato." Legato's head shot up towards his father, knowing that his name usually meant something immensely serious. "You and that wife of yours make such a _great_ match! It's as if you've known each other _outside_ of love. But, you need to tell me. Are you thinking about having a baby?"

Legato couldn't help but laugh. When he finally calmed down, he chuckled, "Ah, I'm not quite sure about that, Father. I haven't talked to her about it but I'm sure she would be… enthusiastic…"

John let out a deep-throated moan before he whipped his head around the room and leaned close to his son, covering the baby's ears. "Don't! Your mother has been griping about none of you children having kids; and, she wants to trap you kids at the house if you ever did have offspring to make sure you 'raise' it right.'"

Legato nodded as Vivace walked in with Midvallina, giggling about some secret topic that made Legato unsettled. John chuckled and took the baby back as he sat up, "Knowing your mother, it's probably some embarrassing story about you and your brothers!"

Vivace walked behind John and smacked his head, "For your information, it's not… Hmm, it seems Adante and Poco are just a few miles away."

Midvallina cheered, "Oh! Just in time for dinner! Everyone go into the dinning room, I'll go greet our new guests. Oh don't worry Legato! I won't be _too _bad of a hostess."

Legato walked into the dining room and sat at the head with both parents on Vash's side. He sighed as he heard the door open and Midvallina's voice echo from the front hall followed by the joking howls of his two brothers…

He muttered just enough under his breath that no one heard, "I wonder what Master Knives is doing…."

((((End))))

C-E: Good? Bad? Hehe. I put a lot of pseudo-mistakes in this chapter! See if you can find them and tell me if you do! Keke.


	3. The Mystery of the Dead Baby

Disclaimer: I do not own Sony, PS 47000,Sherlock Holmes, orTrigun. But Legato's family is a reflection of the voices I hear at night…

C-E: YES! As promised, Family shall be continued till its very end. I'm enthusiastic about this story and it promises to be my breakthrough! Oh, don't stay _too_ attached to the baby……

**Legato's Family Reunion**

**Chapter Three:  
****Mystery of the Dead Baby**

((((Start))))

((The Ship))

Crystal light. The chandelier spun helplessly above letting its faceted light fall upon the five-course meal set out on the cherry wood table. The fragile crystals clinked gently together in it's own curt symphony of sound and splashing light…

Now that he thought about it, when did Midvallina get a chandelier? …

He heard the front door close and three pairs of footsteps venture ever closer, like the throbbing sound of a tornado inviting itself to your inevitable **doom.** The first to enter the room was Midvallina andthen the tan-skinned and short blondish haired Poco entered wearing a bright flora shirt with tan cargo shorts and bright flip-flopsas he pounded Legato's back in brotherly jest. Midvallina sat on Legato's right side and showed Poco to the chair next to her. They sat down and the table waited for the second brother…

Vivace sat with her baby bouncing on her lap. "Where is your brother, Legato?"

Legato shrugged and turned to Midvallina who smiled and said with a nod, "He received a call and went outside to take it. But, I'm afraid I haven't had the pleasure of being introduced to your _other_ brother, Honey…"

Legato sighed, staring at the steaming pizzas and glistening ham beckoning his fork. "That is Poco a Poco. All one name. I believe his ability is controlling weather," he droned, slightly drooling.

Midvallina squealed and turned towards him. "Really? The weather! My, you must be in some demand on such an arid planet!"

Poco waved the comment away and leaned back in his chair. "It's nothing really. I mean I _have_ been traveling the world and stayed with the most **admirable** and** rich **people on Gunsmoke; but it's nothing really. Recently, I've been feeling a tad pale so I caught a few rays near a small town on the edge of Ransom Canyon-"

"You mean the town where all the peopleexplodedfrom the intense heat?" Midvallina ventured, smiling as he nodded.

"Yeah, can you believe how soft some people can be? I mean, they can't even stand a little _heat_!" he said, placing a slice of pizza on his dish, "I hope you don't mind. I haven't had anything to eat since I left town."

Midvallina giggled and waved her encouragement, "Don't worry. It's ok! **Legato**! Wait until everyone has had some before _you_ start eating!"

Legato glared at her and retracted Vash's hand from where it ventured to grab hold of a ham cutlet. Another person walked into the room and placed himself next to Poco's seat, reaching to grab a slice of pineapple pizza with black olives. He took one bite, swallowed and greeted the glances in his direction. "Sorry for the delay. I had an urgent call from Sony (A/N: Yeah, Sony's on Gunsmoke…. they go everywhere.) saying that the new game consolehas a glitch and must be delayed in production. Can you believe it! I have over 4 million pre-orders of the PS 47000! Thanks for understanding. Oh! You must be **Mrs.** Bluesummers!" he said, turning to the _dashing_ Midvallina, "I've gotta say, Legato, you're the luckiest brother of the three!"

Midvallina blushed and waved at his comment, "You're _too_ kind!"

"Yes, it was very **_fortunate_** that I caug-found her. I don't know **_what_** I'd do without my ...beautiful ...wife." he said with a rigid smile. "_Dear_… This is my littlest brother, Andante. I believe he has some finesse with electronics and owns his own company…"

"Yes, that's correct Legato. But finding people with my own expertise to manufacture the finicky machines is harder than it sounds!" he chuckled at his joke and Vivace sighed.

"I think you boys have been starved long enough and Legato's about to get his fingers chopped off-"

"Nothing new to me."

"Let's go ahead and eat. I know Maestoso will be late as always…"

The dinner passed with laughable stories and fantastic events that time has never seen! And after all the stomaches have been filled and the table was nearly cleaned of anything organic (due to the Bluesummer's super metabolism), Midvallina packed the remains for Maestoso and put it into the kitchen and the family was left with no audience to dull their sharp tongues…

Vivace started. "Well, Legato. I'm happy to see you finally found a wife. She seems to be exactly what you need though she is a bit homely… I would hate to see your children."

At this, Legato expelled the liquid contents of his mouth… across the table. He jumped up and glared at this mother. "I'm **MARRIED**! Why can't you be _satisfied_ with that? Just because two people marry does not mean they want KIDS! And I certainly _will_ **_NOT_** have kids with that woman in there! Just because you have to have _something_ under your control at all times…" he finished sitting down and wiping his mouth in a rage.

Vivace set her hard glare on her eldest with a cold smile. "Then you don't like your new sister? If not, why don't you _kill_ her?"

The table grew silent and Midvallina walked in and stopped. "Um. Legato, dear, I think the Plant for the lights is getting tired. Perhaps this isn't the right mome-"

BAM. Legato slapped his hands on the table, glaring at his mother's victorious smile, and jumped up. "Don't worry, _sweety_. Let's check it out…"

They left and arrived halfway to the Plant room when Legato murmured something about leaving his fork behind. He left Midvallina in the halls when the lights shut off.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"WAH WAH WAH-"

Silence.

Just as suddenly, the lights flipped back on and Midvallina ran down the halls toward the dining room. She froze in her tracks as she witnessed a gruesome scene. The baby lay on the table with a fork in its back, Vivace cried over the dead infant as John tried to pull her away and comfort her. Legato's two brothers sat at the table stricken with horror. Legato ambled in and stopped at the gloomy silence.

He straightened with rage and walked over to the body. "What _evil_ person would kill a **_baby_**!"

"Well Legato, mom did ask you if you wanted to kill her…" Adante leered, standing up and walking around the table toward Legato. "It's seems to me as if you had a _pretty_ good motive…"

Poco jumped up and pulled a cloth over the baby's body. "Whoever killed her doesn't matter right now. We need to get mother under control or **all of us will pay!**"

So, the Bluesummers pulled out the portable hug-me jacket from the parent's car and tossed Vivace into a handy pillow-covered room Legato had handy. The four men and one "woman" set to work on solving the Mystery of the Dead Baby. The five moved to the living room to make sure the crime scene stayed pristine for the authorities. Adante paced the floor and Poco sat next to Midvallina, who started crying over the poor baby. John sat at the grand piano (which suddenly appeared for this purpose) and Legato stood behind the wet bar with a bottle of rum at his side (which Midvally and Wolfwood insisted on having).

Adante stopped and peered around the room with keen eyes. "Obviously, the murderer must be within this room, seeing as mother loved her child with the enduring love she showed us when we were young-"

"Well, in that case, we shouldn't count mom out yet." Legato said, pouring John a shot of rum for his "nerves."

Adante glared at his brother and continued, "Yes, well. I should think that you have the motive Legato **_AND_** you were away from the table at the time. Am I correct?"

Legato sighed, "Yeah, I should suspect you'd be right since YOU WERE **THERE!**"

"Quite a temper you have…. JUST THE TEMPER YOU'D EXPECT FROM A **BABY KILLER!**"

Poco jumped up, letting Midvallina run to the kitchen in tears, "Stop fighting! Accusations will get us nowhere. We need to work as _family_ for once…"

A silence fell over the Bluesummers' men interrupted abruptly by a knock at the door. "That must be Maestoso," Legato muttered walking towards the door.

He opened it. **_SLAM!_** …………… "HONEY! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU."

Midvallina skipped into the front hall, back to her old spirits. "Yes dear?" she asked straightening his hair.

"What did you do?" Legato asked with narrow eyes.

Midvallina smiled, proud of her answer, "I didn't want all of you fighting and it was such a _terrible_ thing not knowing who the murderer was; so, I called in an expert!"

Legato chuckled as the door pounded behind him. "Midvalley, I don't think **_MASTER_** can be considered an **_EXPERT!_**"

"I fail to see your reasoning young sir," a placid voice said, behind Legato. The blue-haired man turned around and sighed at the oddly English form of Knives. "My name is Millions Knives and I have been called by your dashing bride to investigate the death of an infant. Behind me is my archivist and collogue, Dr. Watson," he finished, pointing behind him at Vash wearing a fake mustache and a pillow beneath heavy wool clothing.

Legato stepped aside and let Knives through with Vash huffing in tow. He took his master's heavy coat and Holmes-ish hat as the Plant pulled out a pipe and filled with tobacco to smoke.

Knives walked into the dining room and stood there for a few minutes calling Vash in there after a while. "Dr. Watson, tell me in your own words what you perceive here," Knives said, puffing a cloud of smoke as he lifted the cloth off the baby's body and let Vash have a look as the twin muttered something about not being Watson.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" thud.

"Hmm. So, the child is, indeed, dead. Thank you, Watson. Sir," he said turning to the confused Legato, "Please call everyone into the living room. I believe I have the answer to this mystery."

Legato sighed and pulled Vash's body into the living room where everyone waited. Fifty minutes passed until Knives walked into the room with his wool vest and white linen shirt with gray slacks. He tapped his pipe against an ashtray and walked around the room. "This case is quite peculiar as the murderer in question had some deep and resentful reason for killing his victim at that precise moment. First, I would like to call to attention the fork as the killing implement, as I believe it a key factor to this investigation.

"Next, I would like to inquire as to who was not in the room at the time of death. As I understand it, Legato you and your wife left to check on a Plant but halfway down the hall you left her alone and returned to the scene of the crime, at which point the lights turned off. Am I correct?"

Legato nodded from behind the bar.

"Good, and you, Legato's Father. I perceive that you were sitting next to your wife as she held the baby at the dinner table at the time of the crime. And you, Mr. Adante was next to Poco who sat parallel to the murder victim, yes? Good, good." Knives paused, filling his pipe with a fresh bout of tobacco. "Ah, Watson, you've awakened! I would like you to examine the group for weakness in ankles if you will."

Vash sat up on the floor and glared at his older brother, "My name isn't WATSON! And why do you want to know their ankle strengths, even if I **did** know how to get that information!"

Knives smiled at him in an igamatic way, "My dear Watson. You've lived with me long enough, surely you understand a tad smidgen of my methods?"

Vash narrowed his eyes as he stood up. "This is the last time I'm letting you read **Sherlock Holmes**… or anything of the like!" Knives waved his comment away and continued with his investigation ignoring Vash.

"Well, all things aside. I now know who the murderer is; the only person that could reach the baby without anyone the wiser; the one person who had sufficient reasons to perpetrate such a crime. And that person **_IS_**…"

((((End))))

C-E: MWUAHAHHAHAHA! Ha! I noticed I startedwriting like an english person! Sorry much!CLIFFHANGER! Not really. Hey, don't flame me for the baby killing, we all knew that baby had no _real_ purpose and I never really meant to kill it…. Naw, I did. I **_really_** did. Stay tuned for the next chapter and the thrilling conclusion of Knives' keen analytical skillz. Yo'. ……………… Yeah. Next is a chapter of Ham Hams.. Yay!


	4. I Think It's Time For Some Sleep

Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own Sherlock Holmes or Trigun. The library owns those…..

C-E: Another riveting chapter of Family! Don't you love how I leave you on a cliffhanger and then skip the chapter of Ham-hams to write this one instead? What can I say? I LOVE this story! UGHH! I'm sooooo happy that I can write after all the **STUFF** (using that word in place of another) that I went through at school. No offense to you non-slackers and whatnot, but NEVER GET IN G/T!

**Family Reunion**

**Chapter Four:**

**I Think It's Time for Some Sleep…**

((((Start))))

"The Murderer of the Baby iiiiiiis! Legato's Mother!"

GASP!

"Naw, just kidding. The **REAL** murderer is- **_GHOSTS_**!"

Silence.

The room stared at Knives as he puffed on his pipe, standing in the middle of the room in his gray tweed suit while his "partner" sat on the floor propped against the couch. It was not that everyone was stunned and amazed at Knives' accusation; it's just…

"_Ghosts!_ How did** ghosts** kill my little sister?" Adante yelled, jumping up in his rage. John ran over and calmed him down as Knives gave him a hard sidelong glare.

"You doubt me deductions? **BLASHPEMY**! YOU SHALL DIE! Legato, kill." he finished, turning away and walking out the door as Legato raised a knife on his brother out of old habit.

HONK HONK! "Will you guys **_hurry up_**! I still have to go shopping!" a voice screamed from outside. Vash jumped up and ran to the open door.

"Coming Meryl! Just let me get Sher- I mean Knives!" He turned to his twin, "Come on, Knives. We have to go! You don't want Meryl to get mad…"

Knives sighed and turned back to the living room. "Very well. BUT! Remember that this was a mystery solved by… SHERLOCK HOLMES!" he said, thrusting his pipe into the air.

The two left and the Bluesummers family stayed in their silence. Legato sighed and placed the kitchen knife on the bar top. "I'm sorry about that."

Adante raised a trim eyebrow at his elder brother, "Was that your employer?"

Legato nodded and his brothers patted him on the back. "Aw _man_! I feel sorry for you! And I thought**_ I_** treated my employees badly!" Adante said, pouring his psychotic brother a drink.

"Yeah! That guy's a total nutcase!" Poco cried as Legato downed his offered drink.

"Eh, you get used to him after a while. And halfway through my employment he was debilitated so it wasn't that bad-" Legato stopped turning to Midvallina who smiled at him as she tapped him on the shoulder. Her finger beckoned him and pointed to Legato's room. Legato pardoned himself, took one last swig of alcohol, and followed his "beloved."

The door closed and Legato felt a chill come into the room as Midvallina sat on his bed, patting the sheets in invitation. He sat and they were silent…

Midvallina sighed, "Honey, you've always been so _sweet_ and _kind_ to me. I don't think I can **_ever_** remember a time when you would yell or hurt me. I'm so _lucky_ to have such a _caring_ and _gentle_ husband…" she said, placing her hands on his. "It's just, I feel like you're holding **something** back from me… Something **_REALLY_** important…" she whispered, moving her face close to his.

Legato tried to back away but Midvalley held him fast. "I don't know what you mean…"

His eyes narrowed. "Oh, I think you do."

"What are you talking about dear? I'd never hide anything from you…"

"Give it up Leggy-kuns. I've grown immune to your power," Midvalley said, his voice taking on it's original baritone.

"Impossible!"

Midvalley sighed. "FINE! We'll play you're game…." He kissed Legato on the cheek and walked out of the room with a malevolent smile across his face. The door clicked shut with Midvalley's "feminine" voice saying Legato was not feeling well and needed some time alone.

Indeed, Legato stared in awe at the one person who was immune to his telepathy simply because of overexposure. Oh, the irony. Oh, the comedic irony… (A/N: Oops! Fourth wall.)

Legato fell into his pillows and buried his face into the down-softness. "How could this **POSSIBLY** get any worse?…"

And like some scripted version of his life, the door rang just as his muffled words broke free of the pillows fluff and spread into his room. He stiffened as he heard voices outside, happy voices layered with fear and the flittering tongue that mimicked Vivace.

Suddenly, our blue-haired hero wanted to go meet his sister. "CRAP!" he yelled as he opened the door against his own will. The living room was static with activity all centered around one person. The group split and a woman, coming up to Legato's shoulders, was standing in the middle with a placid smile spanning her milky face. Her dark blue hair shimmered black in the dim lighting and fell across her back. She wore a black business suit as Legato ambled up to her with acidic smile on his face.

She lit up and threw her lean arms around his shoulders, jumping up to peck him on his cheek. Her pale purple eyes stared deep into his glaring golden orbs. "Oh, Legato! I'm so _happy_ to see you again!"

Legato sighed as he pushed her gently away. "Hello Maestoso. It's a pleasure to see you too…" he drawled.

She stepped back and glared up at him with her hands perched on her pleated pants. "_I didn't hear any feeling in that hello…_" she smirked, "Maybe you should try it again! I am your sister and deserve a _**little feeling...**_" She growled the last word, her eyes narrowing to two intense slits of anger.

Legato stiffened beneath her icy glare and forced a _believable_ smile onto his face. He spread his arms and pulled the woman into bear hug. His voice deepened with such feeling, he actually seemed human when he said, "Maestoso, my beloved sister! How have you been? My god! It's been **_forever_**! I can't believe you look so_ beautiful _after all these years!"

Maestoso brightened in her brother's embrace and, as she pulled away placing her delicate hands on the man's off white, button down shirt, smiled big at the radiant love. She wiped a tear of joy from her eye. "_Oh Legato!_ It's so nice to see you're safe! I was_** so**_ worried all these years! And then, I get a letter from you and- and... OH! I couldn't _**help**_ myself! I was _**OVERJOYED**_ to see you safe!" she sniffed, turning away with a dramatic hand on her cheek. She turned back, her head tilted, a smile of ease on her face and hands on her petite hips. "See? That wasn't so hard, now was it?" she asked. Legato's golden eyes glared, but his mouth smartly kept a residue of the love he showed before.

The sister looked the living room over, her other brothers snickering at the obviously _avid_ Legato. Midvalley raised an inquistive eyebrow and John walked to his only daughter. "Maestoso, you're mother is in a room. Unfortunately, she snapped _right_ before you arrived and you know how she gets then... Legato, it's been a long day and we're really tired-"

Legato's face fell into it's normal humdrum as he walked past his immediate family. "Of course. Let me show you to your rooms," he stopped, turned and smiled sickeningly at Midvalley, head tilted to the side in innocence. "Midvallina, **dear**, why don't you take care of their bags?" The cross dressing saxophonist glared at the suspicious happiness.

Maestoso brightened as Legato began down the halls, switching to his normal self. "Oh! Legato, you never told me you **_married!_** Midvallina, is it? My, how _lucky_ you are to have my brother as a husband! You two must _absolutely_ love each other! I must see what you two have done with your room!" Both men jumped.

The family looked from both stunned men; Legato with a look of **encompassing** horror and Midvalley the picture of hidden disgust. John cleared his throat in authority, "Son, you do remember what we always told you, correct? When you _love_ some one, you must share _every_ aspect of their life. And the only way to do that is to live in the same room. You do sleep together, _right?_"

Legato stared at Midvalley for an eternity...

"Yes father. Of course I sleep with her..." he mumbled, as if in a dream.

"Well then! Nothing to worry about!" Poco yawned, stretching his long tan arms behind him.

Adante rubbed his eyes as Maestoso formally introduced herself to Midvalley. "I think it's time we went to bed. You were showing us to our rooms, brother?"

Legato turned and smiled to the men of his family, "Of course. This way."

Maestoso waved her leave from Midvalley and followed the troupe down the fading hall. When the room fell silent, he let out an groan and plopped into a plump armchair. The musician buried his face into the arm and moaned, "Oh my **_god_**. I don't want to **_sleep_** with him!"

A few minutes later, Legato returned alone, glaring at the musician slumped into the armchair. The two men stared at each other in emcompassing silence. Glaring psychopath against scornful musician wearing a dress.

Which reminded him...

Midvalley was the first to stand, breaking the fueding silence with a sigh. "I'm gonna change out of this ridiculous outfit," he said, stretching and turning to the door. "It's not like their going to go to my room and watch me sleep! ..." Midvalley stopped, peering over his shoulder at Legato's listless form, "Right?"

Legato smiled and shrugged. "I wouldn't put it pass them..."

The musician glared at Legato, growling and rubbing his aching temples. After a few minutes of mumbling beneath his breath, Midvalley turned to Legato and said, "Fine. Let's sleep in my room. As much as I'm sure your family is used to the heads hanging from your ceiling and blood splattered on the wall, I don't want to be associated with your crazy."

Legato's golden eyes narrowed in a sadistic smile, "I wouldn't worry about that..."

With that, Midvalley shivered, sighed, and led the way to his room with the chuckling Legato in his wake. Sleep was not the only thing on Midvalley's mind; but it was the only thing that did not make him cry in fear...

((((End))))

C-E: Thought I was dead, huh! Well too bad. I'm back and this time, I'll probably get some chapters done. Man, I feel sorry for my "fans"... I'm a horrible procrastinator... Oh well! Next up is probably a chapter of Clone! If I can focus long enough to finish it! Stay tuned, Family Reunion is bound to cause an uproar!


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